October 10, 2009 On Supervising Others

He said, "You've observed how godless rulers throw their weight around, how quickly a little power goes to their heads. It's not going to be that way with you. Whoever wants to be great must become a servant. Whoever wants to be first among you must be your slave. That is what the Son of Man has done: He came to serve, not be served—and then to give away his life in exchange for the many who are held hostage." Mathew 20:25-28 [CJS - The Message]

As spiritually-centered women, we understand that to be placed in a position of power and responsibility in an organization is not a reward for our good grades or charming personality.  Instead, it is a stewardship, a responsibility, a gift that we must treasure.  Such situations are opportunities for growth and spiritual understanding on our part and for those who report to us.  This growth comes not from preaching, but rather from modeling the behavior of a woman of conscience.

Such a woman treats all employees with a level of fairness and a measure of wisdom that moves mountains, or does the impossible.  Such a woman monitors her own behavior, and offers insights to her subordinates, when asked.  She is circumspect; she applies  organizational policies justly.  She uses the power and information she has to make better decisions, to support more people, to allow greater discretion.  She does not succumb to the temptation to fix other people

Elizabeth O’Connor says it this way:

[Most of us] “…have no idea how to nurture a small group so that its members deepen their lives in Christ---learn self-knowledge, how to listen and to care---the deep nurture of the spiritual life so essential for the recovery of vision and passion.

The lack of servant leaders is being experienced in the whole of society. One looks in vain today for those who are using their strengths and gifts and riches on behalf of the common good. In all of our institutions is a yearning for the presence of the fearless ones in whose company we will be able to put aside our own fears and begin to hope and exercise imagination.”

Source: Servant Leaders, Servant Structures

Let us see what this vision looks like in practical terms. Let us assume that you are leading a small team of people.  To be a Servant Leader you will want to:

1.      Focus always on strengths.  Every person at the table brings gifts that should be used. Some of them are visible—even blatant.  Others are more hidden and will require mining to find. Also recognize that your own strengths are not the ones that need to be replicated in the group.  No, it is far and away better to see the team as a collection of different gifts…and the more diverse the gifts, the richer the group.  For example, it may be tempting to focus on others’ weaknesses, on what they cannot do, or on what you can do better than they.  This is a prescription for disaster.  Regardless of your training, or experiences, you must focus on the strengths of each person on your team. [If you are not the team leader, but a member, then the same rule applies: focus on strengths, not weaknesses].

2.      Speak honestly for yourself.  Allow yourself to be vulnerable before the group.  No one is perfect, and acting as if somehow you are exempt from this truth fosters distrust in you.  This can be tricky, though, when you have a negative assessment of another person.  So note that the rule is “speak honestly for yourself”.  In other words, reveal truth about yourself…but not the negative opinions you might have about other people.

3.      Treasure the gifts that others have.  There are a number of ways to do this.  One is to make a list of the strengths of each person in your team.  Who is usually cheerful and sees the bright side of issues and challenges?  Who does a good job of planning the work?  Who can identify obstacles…and who can propose alternatives?  Who is detail-oriented?  And who is visionary? And who has good hunches…and strong intuition?  Ask others to do the same about team members, so that the focus is on strengths, not on weaknesses.

Another way is to utilize a personality test…Meyers-Briggs (which is available on Facebook) or the DISC or other tools (check with your Human Resources department in case they provide  a specific tool for your organization) can be useful and helpful for building self-understanding and carrying on the dialogue about our similarities and differences. 

Caution:  Do not let yourself or anyone else use the results to “zing” or put down other people.  For example, in the Meyers-Briggs indicator, the “N’s” are those who get the “big picture” but are often weaker in the details.  It might be tempting to say things such as, “Oh, you are being so N right now!”  Such behavior does nothing to foster the self-esteem and building-on-strengths atmosphere that a true servant leader achieves.

4.      Learn—and teach—how to listen.  There are many courses in “active listening” that can be brought into an organization, and books that will guide you and your team.  One way you can model good listening is to summarize what others have said; if not after each person speaks, then after a conversation or discussion has ended, or paused.  Another exercise you can model for others is to begin your own feedback with a phrase such as, “I really like what Chris said; [then summarize it and get confirmation that you heard it correctly].  Another is to listen for “key points” and repeat them saying... “What I heard you say is A, B and C; did I get it right?”And a fourth technique is to build on what others have said.  For example, if Lynn says “I think we should hold a 3-day conference …” you might say, “Building on what Lynn has said about a 3- day conference, I would like to suggest that each day be devoted to….” 

It is possible that the greatest interference with hearing others is focusing on our rejoinders.  In other words, if you are listening to the other person, but spending your time marshalling your arguments against them, you will miss the essence and best points of their offering. Spiritually-centered managers practice this skill of listening deeply, and follow a disciplined approach to get better at it all the time.  If you get feedback from staff, family or friends that “You don’t listen” then it is time to take serious steps at correcting this behavior in yourself.

5.      Teach how to care…for each other, for our customers, our clients, our bosses, our neighbors and all the others who enter into our work lives.  Teaching, and learning how to care for others is not about the superficial things like celebrating birthdays, or giving great showers.  It is a deeper, more significant kind of caring that is based on compassion and appreciation for the journey we are all on. 

Who Do We Care For?

There is always a recipient of our work.  The team we lead produces products—services, knowledge or more tangible outputs such as courses, jewelry, health care, reports and analyses, data, etc.—for real people.  If we are managing, the staff is the first recipient of our work.  For the team, the first recipients of its caring need to be the people who receive those products, service or knowledge.  [It is often tempting to think that work and the work group are designed for our enjoyment, leading us to think of customers as interfering or standing in the way of our getting things done.  We might say it facetiously, but there is often an element of truth to such teasing.]  We demonstrate caring for those people by always doing the highest quality work we can.  As a spiritually-centered manager, you show that you always put the clients/customers first in your consideration. Once the quality of the output is assured, we can focus on the appreciation of the journey we are all on. 

Mistakes

When mistakes happen (maybe someone mis-judged how long a particular project would take, or ordered the wrong widget) the compassionate manager serves as a resource for solving the problem---which does not mean doing it yourself.  Instead, discuss the problem with the person.  Identify alternatives, and help to choose a best course. Utilize your own company position to smooth the way.  Determine if apologies are needed…and to whom and in what form.  And then—and only when the problem has been resolved—go into a discussion of lessons learned and ways to continuously improve.  You can help the person who made the mistake identify the source:  Was it lack of knowledge?  Was it confusing direction?  Perhaps it required a skill that the person did not have.  It is important to keep the discussion away from blame.  Even if another person or department caused the difficulty, a spiritually-centered manager keeps everyone involved “whole.”

The Long-Term View

Once people have lived with a servant leader for a period of time, they will re-generate their passion and vision for themselves, the workplace and the society as a whole.  Those who are working in the church-based, school, health care or non-profit sphere will find their energy and commitment coming back.  They will be inspired to stretch their imaginations…to test boundaries that have limited the organization in the past.  They will move away from maintaining the status-quo, and begin to envision a future where the greatest challenges have been met.  They will think of moving from success into significance…and it will be a wonderful new day.  For those working in the corporate or entrepreneurial setting, similar changes are likely to occur.  However, if they are spiritually-based, they may begin to walk a path towards work that is more socially useful, or more in keeping with issues of social justice.  It is quite OK for those of you who are in that world to develop skills, insight and knowledge there that can eventually be applied in the creation of the new order.  Think of Bill Gates and Warren Buffet, who moved into the non-profit world and philanthropy after decades of making money.  Eventual conversion is conversion!

Prayer for Those who Supervise Others

Lord of All, you have given me the responsibility for supervising these people.  I am grateful for the opportunity; may I always serve You and your purposes for me here on earth.  Please help me to serve them while fulfilling the mandates of my own job.  I sometimes find this a real challenge, as You know.  But help me, please, to help them to grow, using the experience of working together to take great steps on their own journey. Help me to remember that as each one performs her or his own job well, we all can thrive—emotionally and spiritually, as well as aiding and supporting our company and its mission.  Help me, please, to be kind and compassionate always, but to never hide behind kindness when feedback or performance improvement is necessary.  Let me always focus on their strengths, and on growing their abilities.  Help me to see that that is my work, and let me not be tempted to use my position in ways that detract from You. Amen.

Essay and Prayer by Kathleen Whiteside Langdon